: Mark Hertling
: If I Don't Return A Father's Wartime Journal
: Ballast Books
: 9781966786733
: If I Don't Return
: 1
: CHF 15.70
:
: Biographien, Autobiographien
: English
: 350
: kein Kopierschutz
: PC/MAC/eReader/Tablet
: ePUB
'This journal was once a gift to our young sons. It is now a gift to anyone who cares to read it.'??? When Major Mark Hertling deployed to Iraq in 1990 as the operations officer of an armored cavalry squadron, his unit was told 50 percent of them would likely sustain casualties. To him, that meant he might not return home and may perhaps never see his family again. To prepare for that potential outcome, he began keeping a journal, hoping that one day, if he didn't return, his stories and wisdom would be passed to his young sons.? In an army-issued green notebook, Mark began recording his thoughts and hopes for his boys. He wrote of character, leadership, camaraderie, battles, cultural differences, religion, love, fear, and the things he wanted his boys to know about him and his experiences. In unfiltered, handwritten entries, Hertling captured the reality of combat in Operation Desert Storm: the waiting and missions, the chaos and courage, the brotherhood and grief, and the lessons of duty and humanity forged in war. What began as a father's private messages became a rare chronicle of leadership and life in preparation for the crucible of battle. But he survived, returned home, and was able to watch his boys grow into men. Decades later, after both his sons became combat veterans themselves, one of them typed those original pages as a gift to his dad-to preserve the legacy for the family's next generation. In revisiting those original journal entries, Hertling-having been promoted, having served in various positions, and having returned to the battlefields of Iraq over the next two decades-added reflections drawn from his life. Reflecting on various military assignments, then his post-retirement jobs as a cable news analyst, health care executive, and professor of leadership, these journal entries now provide valuable lessons on character, leadership, and service.

Lieutenant General (Retired) Mark Hertling served thirty-eight years in the US Army as a tanker and cavalryman while also spending thirty-eight months in combat in multiple roles: as a major in a cavalry squadron during Desert Storm; as an assistant division commander in the 1st Armored Division in Baghdad (2003-2004); and later as the commander of the 1st Armored Division in Northern Iraq (2007-2008). After retiring from the army, Mark became a senior vice president for a major health care organization and later became a professor of practice in strategic leadership at the Crummer School of Business at Rollins College. He is an active public speaker on leadership, national security issues, and health care. From 2014 to 2024, Mark appeared as a military and national security analyst for CNN/CNN International. Today, he is a freelance analyst and writes extensively on national security and leadership issues for a variety of media outlets. His book If I Don't Return offers reflections of life and service based on a journal he wrote to his young sons during Desert Storm. Mark is married to his best friend, Sue. They have two sons, five grandsons, and two granddaughters.

26 DEC 1990—Friendship

I’m sure this topic of “friends” and “friendship” will be a reoccurring one in this journal, but it is a topic which necessitates a lot of discussion. What is making this time away from you at least bearable is the fact that I have some very close friends here with me. Those individuals—CPT Scott Milliren, CPT John Dean, CPT Roger Alford, CPT Greg Heck, LT Rich Tunney, LT Mike Ramirez, LT Tim Hanson, SFC Tim Brett—all have shared their laughter, their feelings, and their friendship with me. We’ve become closer during this short period of time. They are all going through the same things now that I am: missing family and home, fearing what might lie ahead, anticipation of attempting to do their jobs to the best of their ability. They will all do well, and God willing, will support me as I attempt to accomplish some difficult tasks.

Friendship occurs outside the realm of danger in a unique and interesting way; something that both of you should be aware of. My best friend—Marty Dempsey—complements my life much the same way that your mom and you guys do—his shared values, his ability to make all of us laugh, his caring nature and his selfless attitude (this last quality I consider the most important) has made him someone special and someone I truly enjoy being around. What is most interesting is that I can name the qualities that make him a great friend. The term “friendship” is often thrown around like the word “love;” people attach the label without really thinking about what must go along with it. Just like love is something that doesn’t come often, friendship—true friendship—should only be shared with a few people during a lifetime. You’re very lucky if you can have only a few people who meet your high standards of friendship.

“Acquaintances”—those you meet, like, and usually don’t get to know very well—are the people that will make up your daily relationships with others. My advice to both of you is this: you may not want to have all your acquaintances as friends, but you should try to be a friend to all you know. There is an easy way to do this: Be yourself. Don’t put on false airs that you think other people want in you (because you’ll spend your time being someone else, not a friend). Give of yourself. You do these things, and you’ll be a good friend.

I love you both, my best friends—

Dad

Reflection

Friendship. The real kind. The kind that sustains you through war, career changes, deployments, funerals, weddings, victories, and failures. The kind that doesn’t need explanation because it’s woven into the way you live and lead.

I’m grateful that I wrote those words back in 1990 because I had no idea how rich that subject would become in my life. I mentioned then that friendship would be a recurring topic in the journal way back then. I didn’t realize then that it would become a central theme of my life.

I mentioned my friend Marty Dempsey in that entry. I still mention him a lot today. He was a young major then, just like me, and we had forged an early friendship—between us and all the members of our respective families—while living in a triplex during the period when we both had a three-year assignment teaching cadets at West Point. Marty was in the English Department, and I was in the much more cerebral Department of Physical Education, teaching push-ups and “rock squad” swimming. Now, over forty years have passed since we met the Dempseys, and we’ve forged a lifelong friendship that has seen lots of ups and downs. But he was one of the first people I met who blended brilliance with humor, loyalty with humility. And in our relationship, he always made me better, and I tried to influence him too. Back then, we were both mid-grade officers, learning how to lead and teach. We laughed a lot and slowly built a friendship that deepened before, during, and after that first war in Iraq and across assignments in Germany and in the US. Later in life, when one of us wore three stars and the other four, and now in retirement, we’re both still trying to make a difference in other people’s lives . . . and our own.

I once wrote inARMY magazine that a best friend can also be your boss and your mentor. That was written about Marty—and it’s still true. He wasn’t just a colleague. He was (and remains) a grounding force, someone I can be my full self around, someone who sharpens me intellectually, challenges me ethi