Preface
Murder is unique in that it abolishes the party it injures, so that society has to take the place of the victim and on his behalf demand atonement or grant forgiveness; it is the one crime in which society has a direct interest.
W.H. Auden
This book describes the context and aftermath of my sister Valerie’s murder in 2019. It contains my personal impressions, opinions and observations as someone drawn into this horrific space. In many places I have used quotes from other people affected by domestic homicide – Mary Coll, Frank Mullane, Luke and Ryan Hart, Amani Haydar and others. Their words emphasise the fact that Valerie’s murder was not a one-off incident, but rather part of a much larger and very obvious pattern.
Unless otherwise stated, opinions throughout are my own. None of these opinions are professional as I have no qualification in psychology, psychiatry, law or criminology.
I am not sharing any information that is not already known. Even now, after the murder trial, I am massively constrained in what I can say due to considerations of privacy, ongoing legal actions and the threat of litigation by Kilroy and even the state. Much of what has happened since the murder has been omitted; I have a lot to say that cannot be published at this time.
In most cases the people mentioned in these pages were acting with good intent and doing the best they could within the limitations of their abilities, training and the scope of their roles. Where people’s actions – or the actions of their organisations – are criticised as lacking, the hope is that they will use it to learn.
Anybody who claims that someone murdering their partner is ‘unprecedented’ is clearly missing the point. My sister’s murder had numerous precedents. In fact, she was the third Irish woman whose partner was charged with their murder in this country in the first six months of 2019, and there was nothing special about that year. Silencing the victim is the aim of murder. This book is an attempt to give voice to Valerie’s perspective and the perspective of her family and to put on record some part of her story. Books like this one also help to minimise recurrences of this type of crime and that is very clearly in the public interest.
Minister for Justice Helen McEntee made a statement on combating domestic, sexual and gender-based violence in November 2020. The government aims at that time were to increase the awareness of domestic and sexual violence, bring about a change in long-established societal behaviours and attitudes and activate bystanders to decrease and prevent this violence. This book adds the perspective of lived experience to that. To quote Ida B. Wells-Barnett, one of the founders of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (or NAACP), ‘The way to right wrongs is to turn the light of truth upon them.’
Society needs to be more aware of the risk factors and not treat the killings of women as one-offs. There