How to Use this Book

Shadow work is not about getting rid of any parts of yourself or getting rid of certain emotions, but instead about changing how you relate to them so that they can be integrated in a way that allows you to become more of yourself.

In each chapter you’ll find some prompts and exercises intended to help you consider how the themes show up in your own life. You will also find a number of practical exercises shared to help create a bridge between the content of the book and your own lived experience.

If you have a lot going on in your life right now or are in the midst of some big changes or transitions, it may be more supportive for you to stick to reading the book and not dive too deeply into the exercises until things settle down for you. Reading the book can in itself spark awareness and insight, while actively engaging with your own shadow material through the exercises provided can deepen the realisations and contribute to lasting transformation.

These exercises focus on both the body and the mind with a recognition of the strong connection between the two. Much of the personal development, mental wellness and popular psychology work we have seen over the last number of decades has focused on a largely cognitive approach, with an emphasis on exploring and challenging the disempowering thoughts or beliefs someone might hold. In more recent times it has become clear that equal merit must be given to the role of the body in developing improved mental and emotional health. Only when we feel safe in our bodies can we access perspective, compassion and curiosity.

Sometimes, unbeknownst to ourselves, we are walking through life with a body holding chronic tension that does not feel safe, and so we are unconsciously perceiving our environment as a threatening or unfriendly place (we’ll dive deeper into the mind–body connection in Chapter Four).

So, alongside the cognitive exercises shared throughout the book, you will find body- and breath-based practices shared to help develop greater emotional awareness, authentic expression and capacity for emotional regulation and self-soothing.

You might read the book all the way through and then come back to the exercises, or allow it to be an 11-week journey in which you complete the exercises on a weekly basis, beginning with those shared at the end of this section, before moving to the next chapter. Whatever you choose to do, go gently, be curious and seek out support if and when you need it.

   Best Practices and Self-Care   

Knowing Your Anchors

In stepping into any form of inner work that involves reflecting on or exploring our thoughts, emotions and patterns, it is important that we are engaged in self-care and are well resourced with anchors that provide us with a sense of stability. This means ensuring we have the support systems, practices and tools in place to nurture and sustain ourselves through the process.

Our anchors are the resources – practices, tools, environments and people – that help us to remain grounded and help us stay centred during times of change, uncertainty or emotional turbulence. Self-care helps to create a stable foundation, allowing us to delve into challenging areas with resilience and compassion. Being well resourced might include anchors like having trusted friends, mentors or a therapist to talk to, engaging in a regular form of physical activity that you enjoy, pr