chapter one
Good Relationships Don’t Just Happen
I love those who love me,
and those who seek me diligently find me.
—PROVERBS 8:17
Since this book is all about having a personal relationship with Jesus, it’s important for us to understand some basic concepts about relationships. Although there are differences in how we relate to the Lord as opposed to another human, many of the same principles apply. Knowing what it takes to establish and maintain a good relationship with another person will help us enter into a deeper relationship with Christ.
While most people understand the concept of a personal relationship, it’s sometimes not the easiest thing to describe. Basically, it can be defined as two people connecting with one another in some way. In order for a personal relationship to exist, there must be some contact between the individuals.
When I was young, I knew many facts about baseball players and rock stars. I could tell you how old they were, where they were born, and maybe even their favorite foods. Knowing about these individuals, however, didn’t mean that I knew them personally. It was not possible for me to have a personal relationship with any of them. On the other hand, I had several friends whom I did know personally and with whom it was possible to enter into a relationship.
The first rule of relationships is that the two people must know each other. Secondly, there must be some degree of communication between the individuals. Is that all it takes? Well, yes and no. Not all relationships are created equal. There is a big difference between a relationship and a close (or intimate) personal relationship.
Let’s look at some of the things that will help a relationship flourish. We’ll also briefly explore how each of these principles will help in our quest to grow closer to the Lord.
Self-Sacrifice
In order for a relationship to be successful, I must learn to put the needs of the other person before my own. If both individuals put this into practice, everyone gets taken care of, and the relationship will be a good one. Self-sacrifice is a necessary component of any loving relationship.
If I am to enter into a close relationship with the Lord, I should also be willing to put him first. Accepting suffering willingly, helping the poor, and praying even when I don’t feel like it are some ways to put this into practice. Incidentally, there is no need to worry about the Lord’s holding up his end of the bargain. He loves us unconditionally and always puts us first.
Commitment
Good relationships don’t just happen; they require work. And both parties must be willing to work. My wife and I have the grace that flows from the sacrament of marr