INTRODUCTION

There are billions of stars in the universe and about forty millionStar Trek fans1(Trekkers) in the world. You are good people. I have signed autographs for many of you at the conventions.

This book is for you, the fans, and to ALL who inspire toblondly go, living a life full of passion way outside any comfort zone. This year marks the 40th Anniversary of the making ofStar Trek II, the Wrath of Khan, which inspired me to share way too much on these pages. It does seem fitting to finally write this on the anniversary of the film that changed my life forever.

Looking back at my life has felt like diving into a vat of chocolate pudding. It’s sweet and mushy. I see my mistakes, my wins and often my poor choice in boyfriends. My early years in Kansas and subsequent life in Hollywood was the initial focus, but it grew to include my more feminist ways, exploring my sexuality, shame-free. I believe sexual wellness to be at the core of a woman’s quality of life and the more open I can be about it between these pages, the better. We are all such prudes about our private lives and parts, especially women who are afraid to ask for what they want. It’s not dirty. It’s fun and funny, away from traumas and body shame. Thank you for your permission in advance to have a laugh about such prurient activities – maybe it will open up more women to talk about their needs in the bedroom, than everyone might be a little bit happier. Gwyneth Paltrow agrees with her series streaming on sex now – that is what she is into, and I applaud her. Boldly go, dahling, where many men have gone for years! Live on the edge and go for what you want.

Penning a memoir also feels like hugging a cactus; prickly and ugly. It has shed light on how very displeased I am with so many of my life choices. That turns into self-hatred. It is in these quiet moments of self-refection that I must talk to the little girl in me and tell her she is safe and loved now, in spite of how many times I have abandoned her to please others. Damn, at times I’ve taken better care of my plants and pet Chihuahua than I have myself. But now I have survival skills; compassion, strength, and the ability to style the back of my hair with a curling iron and accessorize. (Mom always said to never wear more than three pieces of jewelry at once. I love that.) It’s me stepping up and declaring that I have also made many of the right life choices, like finishing college and pursuing my vocational dreams. Somedays