Chapter Two
Cancer Came Creeping In

My dad defied the odds – in fact he did so well in his battle with cancer he confounded the doctors.

He was in his mid-80s when cancer struck. He was still active and alert - still helping old people - still friendly and outgoing and with a relatively decent handle on technology. Dad may have been in the later years of his life, but he was positive, forward looking, excited, engaged, and ready for whatever was next.

Everything had changed dramatically about ten years ago when Mary Sue – his wife of 53 years - died in 2005. But after the big adjustment, he’d forged a really good life for himself. He and his wife had married young – on a break from his early Navy career. Their moms lived in the same apartment building and had become acquainted. A few months before their wedding Dad had been visiting his Mom in Springfield, Illinois in her new apartment and met Mary Sue. She was in nursing school and on break too. Within a few months the lovebirds were engaged and married soon after. Mary Sue’s dress was made by her mother and the whirlwind romance that had started over breaks had soon placed them at the altar. They grew stronger over the years, and together they raised four kids. Those four kids got along, had pretty successful adult lives, and had children of their own. In fact, a few of those children had produced kids themselves. By 2015, Hugh was a great grandfather – a few times over.

Like so many of us, Hugh had to reinvent himself.

Mine was a different path. In my dad’s world, people went to college, graduated, joined the military, took a job with a big company, worked there for 30 years or more, took their pension, and retired. So many times I couldn’t even count I’d have the conversation with my father that would start with something like, “Things are different for you. I don’t even know how to give you advice. Back when I was a young man things were different. Now you change jobs, change companies, and even start your own business.” He may not have realized it, but as I was developing my career and finding my work path, Dad now over 20 years into retirement, was doing the same in his personal life.

Dad’s world revolved around Mom They traveled together, collected art together, did a darn good job retiring together. Yeah, he had taken a few consulting jobs back in the mid-80’s and I’m sure they tripped over each other some as the adjusted to this new time in their lives, but by all accounts they had made it. They had arrived. They had a solid relationship and genuinely seemed to enjoy each other’s company.

Then she died.

In our family, people don’t pass, or move on into the great beyond, or meet their maker. They die. It’s simple – straightforward really - and kind of the way Hugh and Mary Sue tackled life. Directly and head on.

She was gone.

My dad, like so many men in their seventies and older, was the ultimate creature of habit. The trouble was it seemed almost all of his habits involved his wife of over 50 years. As much as he tried to keep everything the same, it was all brand new. The patterns may have been the same, but the path was totally different and now he had to walk it comp