XVIII.  THE BIG, FAT LUMMOX

In the morning sunshine, Mrs. Baxter stood at the top of the steps of the front porch, addressing her son, who listened impatiently and edged himself a little nearer the gate every time he shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

``Willie,'' she said, ``you must really pay some attention to the laws of health, or you'll never live to be an old man.''

``I don't want to live to be an old man,'' said William, earnestly.  ``I'd rather do what I please now and die a little sooner.''

``You talk very foolishly,'' his mother returned.  ``Either come back and put on some heavier THINGS or take your overcoat.''

``My overcoat!'' William groaned.  ``They'd think I was a lunatic, carrying an overcoat in August!''

``Not to a picnic,'' she said.

``Mother, it isn't a picnic, I've told you a hunderd times!  You think it's one those ole- fashion things YOU used to go to--sit on the damp ground and eat sardines with ants all over 'em?  This isn't anything like that; we just go out on the trolley to this farm-house and have noon dinner, and dance all afternoon, and have supper, and then come home on the trolley.  I guess we'd hardly of got up anything as out o' date as a picnic in honor of Miss PRATT!''

Mrs. Baxter seemed unimpressed.

``It doesn't matter whether you call it a picnic or not, Willie.  It will be cool on the open trolley- car coming home, especially with only those white trousers on--''

``Ye gods!'' he cried.  ``I've got other things on besides my trousers!  I wish you wouldn't always act as if I was a perfect child!  Good heavens! isn't a person my age supposed to know how much clothes to wear?''

``Well, if he is,'' she returned, ``it's a mere supposition and not founded on fact.  Don't get so excited, Willie, please; but you'll either have to give up the picnic or come in and ch--''

``Change my `things'!'' he wailed.  ``I can't change my `things'!  I've got just twenty minutes to get to May Parcher's--the crowd meets there, and they're goin' to take the trolley in front the Parchers' at exactly a quarter after 'leven.  PLEASE don't keep me any longer, mother --I GOT to go!''

She stepped into the hall and returned immediately.  ``Here's your overcoat, Willie.''

His expression was of despair.  ``They'll think I'm a lunatic and they'll say so before everybody --and I don't blame 'em!  Overcoat on a hot day like this!  Except me, I don't suppose there was ever anybody lived in the world and got to be going on eig