Love
I think it was spring of 2008. I saw you walking softly, I saw you look around you with haste and then I saw you sit at a cafe. I saw you slowly turning your head and your gaze gently falling on me. What a tranquil beauty. That is when your friend introduced us and I remained stunned and frozen by your exquisite beauty. I froze from the sight, I was frightened from the beats of my heart and the shiver of my body and stood like that for a while, remaining silent. I don’t know how long for. I stood spellbound looking at you for a while, envying anything that touched you and anything that looked at you, whether it was human or God, a live or soulless entity. Feeling utterly charmed by you, I was jealous of the wind itself that dared with audacity to touch your vibrant, wavy, fragrant hair. Spontaneously in the back of my mind arose an absurd reasoning, while subconsciously I looked behind your shoulder:If this is an angel before me, where must be her wings?
I then tenderly spoke to you some other day with words of love, yet you didn’t look at me. I spoke to you of the value of love and you didn’t understand it. I knelt before you and spoke to you of the power of love, yet you ignored me. Afterwards, reaching my hand out to you desperately, I recited the words of a poet as a last resort and said to you: “I see you rise before me, like a giant fragrant exotic flower, of some magical spring otherworldly universal blossoming.2When you walk, when you lean, when you open your eyes, when you close your mouth, when you move, then you breathe, when you talk, when you fix your hair, when you touch an object, when your gaze turns to see something, when...when...you are...you are... you are light, you are music, you are a vision. Yes when you unintentionally touch me, when your sweet breath reaches my face, when your gaze itself crosses with mine, when you address me, when you smile at me, then you are all, you are everything, then...then...then...my soul melts, my body is atoned for its sins and all the particles that formulate me in a high state of stimulation in a zone of higher energy have the tendency to escape and with difficulty remain united maintaining my body intact. It is a moment before I self-destruct, which is followed by a massive explosion. It is the edge of the blade, the momentary point zero of the transformation of the future into the past, the uncertainty which no one can see with two eyes, sees what no one else sees and does not see at the same time. It is the point of time between point zero and infinity, when my mind is entirely and completely controlled by you and my heart is operating at a dangerous pace.
But not even that seems to have moved you. Perhaps you couldn’t understand it, perhaps I couldn’t show you it or perhaps you wanted something else that I was not aware of. I was then left waiting once again. I wonder, how much did I honestly love you then”.
There was another occasion when you asked me if I regretted having loved you. I, in turn ask you this. Do you feel regret even for a second when you drink a glass of cool water? When the sun falls on you and is jealous of you, do you ever regret that? When the gentle breeze softly offers you a sweet coolness from the summer heat. Did you ever feel regret? I wonder, do you feel regret about breathing?Then why should I regret being there, in the truest sense of the word, even if it was for a moment?I lived. I existed. I was.
Don’t ever regret loving. You should only regret feeling hatred. When you truly love, you forget the bad things and only remember the good. What about anger? It is swiftly evaporated by a gentle morning breeze. If that does not happen, then you never truly loved. In any event, every day and every moment you should look for love.Is love your guide?
So please follow me to an unknown long and exotic journey, in order for us to find the heavenly Forest of love. I have heard of it, as prophets, saints have spoken of