Introduction

The nucleus of this book came about from a conversation with a family member who, for me at least, I believed was mocking God. My first thought was that I needed to put them straight. But I confess, I’m not the most tactful person when it comes to speaking to a family member, which I’m sure many can relate to. Many of us can have an attitude when speaking to a family member that we are free to speak to them in whatever way we wish, especially if we think it is for their own good. That is wrong, which is something I can personally testify to. For me, I assumed quite incorrectly that what I said, even though it was out of love and concern for my family member’s welfare and, more importantly, their eternal life, I had hoped it would be looked upon as loving advice. Sadly, it was not. A few days later, my family member told me that they had decided they wanted nothing more to do with me and launched into a verbal campaign of telling me what a hypocrite I was and that I could never change (referring to past life experiences).

I analyzed what they said and questioned whether I was to blame for making this family member feel the way they did. Some of the things they said to me deeply hurt and upset me. Their words cut me to the core like fresh salt placed in an open wound. But I was sure by the nature of what caused the initial conversation in the first place, it was right for me to speak up. Not only that, the culmination of their decision to have nothing more to do with me reflected past hurts rather than present statements.

This taught me a huge lesson of humility, forgiveness, respect, and above all the free gift of Grace from God. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was He replied that it was to “love your God” and He quickly followed up with the second one, “to love your neighbor”. The Apostle John further enforced this when he was asked to speak to those wanting to know what was important and simply said, “love one another”. This then, like a perfectly machined piece of a jigsaw puzzle, fits ‘like a glove’ into what is another command from God. To forgive one another.

In our imperfect world and, indeed, our own individual imperfection, forgiveness can be something that is not easily achieved. The bridge is so easy to cross for two people to resolve their differences, but all too often one of them sets the middle of the bridge on fire and the bridge collapses. All too often the offended party, instead of throwing a rope as in a lifeline to the other person, chooses to throw gasoline on the fire so that the bridge burns quickly and is eventually destroyed with both parties looking at each other from the divide. This situation, although an illustrative one, plays out in real family life situations every day.

I can personally testify to this. I am not proud and I am indeed ashamed of much of my past life. I was guilty of not forgiving, of all people, my mother. Sadly, the bridge I burnt was never erected again and for the last 10 years of my mother’s life we did not speak to each other.

This does not affect only family members. Friendships, some that have lasted lifetimes, are also easy game for the one who is behind the cause of these divisions.

One thing a person cannot do is reverse the pas