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Transcript from the“Galaxy’s Greatest Sports Show with Dan, Akbar, and Tarat the Smasher”

DAN: Hello again, sports fans. I am the semi-mystical being known as Danthe Man Gianni, once again bringing you the most stunning show the universe has witnessed since the Big Bang. With me as always, Hall-of-Fame linebacker Tarat the Smasher and my lil’ buddy, Akbar Smith.

TARAT: Thank you, Dan.

AKBAR:Lil’ buddy? Are you kidding?

DAN: No need to thank me, Akbar. Everyone in broadcasting needs a great nickname.

AKBAR: And your great nickname isDan the Man? That’s the best you got?

TARAT: Well, we can’t all have names likeSmasher, lil’ buddy.

DAN: Hey! Was that humor out of Tarat? Fantastic.

AKBAR: Tarat, how many times do I have to tell you to not encourage him?

TARAT: But I thought it was good to offer Humans encouragement.

DAN: Never mind him, Tarat. Let’s get into the news. The Tier Three Tournament is underway. We’re through the first round of the famedTwo Weeks of Hell.

TARAT: My money is on the Achnad Archangels.

AKBAR: I’m going with the Kull Conquerors.

DAN: You’re both wrong, wrong and ... oh wait ... I have a memo here ... yes, it sayswrong! The Pittsburgh Steelers are the cream of the Tier Three crop this year and they’ll bring the Homestead Cup back to Earth for the first time in a decade.

AKBAR: The Steelers? You’re crazy. And what the hell is asteeler, anyway?

TARAT: A stealer is someone who practices theft, Akbar. And Dan, with a statement like that, I have to question the validity of your decision-making process.

DAN: Both of you, shush it. We’re not going to dwell on Tier Three, because the real story is free agency for the upcoming 2684 Tier One season. You guys know how this works. Tier One finishes, which takes us to the Two Weeks of Hell for Tier Three and whenthat finishes we have the Tier Two season. With Tier One season finished and the Wabash Wolfpack crowned champs, we immediately jump into the free agency window. Tea